The Weight of the World

It sits at the entrance to Rockefeller Plaza in midtown Manhattan, its very presence a not-so-subtle statement about the buildings that loom above it. Fifteen feet tall and weighing a whopping seven tons, the huge bronze sculpture of Atlas bearing the burden of the world on his shoulders — every muscle straining, his legs bent under the weight of what he must carry — greets visitors to what has long been the epicenter of both business and media, in the heart of New York City.

As residents scurry past, and tourists linger on, I wonder: How many pause to consider that sculpture as a reflection of their own lives — burdened under a weight they were never intended to bear? Because that’s the way life feels sometimes, isn’t it? Little by little and piece by piece, we accumulate the cares and concerns and worries of this life, until it seems like the entire weight of the world is on our back, doubling us over as we struggle to make it from one day to the next.

When the burdens pile up, people try all sorts of things in an attempt to get relief. Some work longer and harder, thinking they’ll slowly climb their way out of the hole they find themselves in. Others seclude and isolate themselves, blaming those around them for their troubles, and allowing worry to gnaw away at their soul. And some choose the escape route, abusing drugs and alcohol in an attempt to make the pain go away.

At the heart of the matter is the desire to be in control — to be masters of our own fate, the captain of our soul. Which, of course, is nothing more than an illusion, since, as Jesus pointed out, we’re powerless to add even a single hour to our life (Matthew 6:27). But we think we’re in charge, and that keeps us on the search for a solution of our own making, something that will at least bring temporary relief from the burdens we bear.

But there’s a better, more biblical approach, one that Jesus Himself modeled for us. Instead of taking it all upon ourselves, the Bible teaches us to surrender — to let go of our incessant need for control. We’re not very good at it, anyways. And when we let God have His rightful place in our lives — when we surrender to His will, instead of our own — we discover the secret the Apostle Paul wrote about: We learn to be satisfied and content, no matter what our circumstances happen to be (see Philippians 4:11-13).

Don’t get me wrong — there’s nothing easy about giving up control. It flies in the face of every message that the culture bombards us with. Surrendering to God is an act of faith, where we deliberately place our trust in Him, instead of going our own way.

But if Atlas could talk, I’m sure he’d say this: There’s nothing easy about carrying the weight of the world, either.

Consistency

Even those who don’t follow baseball know the name Willie Mays. With a career batting average over .300 and twenty-four appearances in the All-Star game – not to mention his twelve consecutive Golden Glove awards – Mays was the consummate baseball professional.

When asked about his perspective on being one of the greatest to ever play the game, Mays had this to say:

“It isn’t hard to be good from time to time; what’s tough is being good every day.”

What Mays is talking about, of course, is consistency. Anyone can pull off the occasional performance; champions are those who do it day in and day out. It’s what sets them apart. It has nothing to do with your level of talent, and everything to do with how you apply that talent – your God-given gifts and abilities – on a daily basis.

In other words: How consistent are you?

One of foundations of the Christian faith is what theologians call the “immutability” of God. In layman’s terms, it simply means that God is consistent – the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Or, as He declared in Malachi 3:6: “I, the Lord, do not change.”

Of course, God’s immutability is inseparably linked to His perfection – something none of us could claim. Our challenge lies in identifying those areas in our lives that need to change, versus those that demand consistency.

It’s consistently doing the right things over a prolonged period of time that leads to success in life – no matter what it is we’re attempting.

Stop and think about it: It’s what kids want most from their parents – a consistent, godly approach to raising them that provides the love, security and stability they crave. It’s what employers desire most from their employees – a consistent “best effort” focus on their work. It’s what coaches long for in their players – the same consistent performance, practice after practice and game after game. The list goes on and on.

Most of us know people who are extremely talented, but inconsistent in the stewardship of those gifts. Likewise, we know people with fewer skills who time and again outperform those with more ability. The difference? Consistency.

In that regard, Willie Mays had it right: Being good every once in a while? No big deal. Being consistently good, day in and day out? A very big deal.

On Being a Mentor

In my last entry I wrote about meeting Pierre Perensin, the Pastor from Brazil with whom I immediately connected during my recent visit to his country. By the time our visit was over and I was headed back to the States, I knew that I had acquired a new assignment: to help Pierre accomplish what the Lord has set in his heart to do, as he reaches out to his fellow Brazilians in the city of Santos Dumont.Refrigerator filter, dirt is blocked by filter screen.Therefore, when we need to replace the refrigerator filter, we should pay attention to avoid the filter screen at both ends of the filter.The filter that has been opened should be applied in a timely manner, and cannot beexposed to the atmosphere for a long time, because the molecular sieve contained in that case may reach saturation and lose the effect of its adsorption water. water filter 3 Filter has a unique technology, can remove more than 99.99% of the pollutants, and leave all the necessary minerals (reverse osmosis filter out all matter, including minerals your body needs, in terms of nutrition, experts say it is basically a dead) Whirlpool filter

A few things come to mind as I contemplate a mentoring relationship with Pierre, truths that transcend culture and are just as applicable to those who are mentoring someone in this country as they are to my new friendship with Pierre. As you think about the assignment that may be waiting for you, I’d encourage you to consider that mentoring relationships are:

Often with someone who just “shows up” in your life, quite apart from any “calculating decision” on your part.

Stop and think about the vast majority of your friendships. More likely than not, they just “happened,” without any real effort or decision on your part. For whatever reason, you bumped into someone along life’s pathway whose heart matched yours, and over a period of time, your relationship developed into a strong friendship. Mentoring relationships are no different – you can’t force them. It’s not like you wake up one day and make a list of “people I think I should mentor.” The more likely scenario is that the people whom you are intended to mentor will simply show up, unannounced and eager for your input – if you’re paying attention and aware of the opportunity.

Helped along by a growing, deepening two-way friendship.

Mentoring is not a one-way street, where you adopt the role of “teacher” and the person being mentored is the “student.” While there will certainly be teaching and learning moments, the fact of the matter is that you’re as likely to learn from them as they are from you. And along the way, you’ll find that a deepening friendship will keep the relationship from being a formal and stuffy “exchange of information,” instead of the multi-layered complexity and enjoyment that results from being part of one another’s life.

Dependent upon unexpected, personal and practical investments.

When you find yourself in the role of “mentor” to someone, part of your job responsibility is to make an honest assessment of their situation and needs. There’s a very practical reason why you’ve been given the opportunity to help shape and mold their lives and their career – and helping them in completely unexpected ways with things they would never dream of asking you for is one of the great privileges of the relationship. Don’t assume they have access to the same resources, opportunities, connections or vision that you do. If they could do it all by themselves, they wouldn’t need you. Enjoy the privilege you’ve been given in this special relationship, and take advantage of the opportunity to notice and help in very real, personal and practical ways.

There’s more to say about this subject, but for now let me simply encourage you to be open to the possibility of being a mentor. My guess is there’s someone who is already on their way to you, someone who would benefit greatly from the wisdom and life experience that you have to offer. The payoff for you? Greater depth, meaning and purpose – the very things that bring true satisfaction to our lives.

Never Back Down

I’ve been writing about what it takes to have a winning attitude, from a speech I gave recently at a UAPB baseball team fundraiser. The acronym “WIN” stands for “Whatever It Takes,” “I Stay Focused” and today’s topic: Never Back Down.

I’m reminded of a story I once heard about a young baseball player. His long-ball hitting got the attention of a pro scout, and the boy was offered a contract. When he went off to spring training he performed well. Each week, he wired his mother back home in Mississippi to inform her of his progress.

• Week One: “Dear Mom: I’m leading all batters. These pitchers aren’t so tough.”
• Week Two: “Dear Mom: Looks like I will be starting in the infield. Now hitting .500.”
• Week Three: “Dear Mom: Today they started throwing curves. Will be home on Friday.”

Life is like that, isn’t it? We think we’re doing well. Things seem to be pretty much under control, and even going our way. Then out of nowhere comes a curve ball, and all of a sudden we’re faced with a choice: Throw in the towel and quit? Or hang in there and learn to adapt and change?

No matter how charmed your life may be, you’ll inevitably face an unexpected obstacle at some point – we all do. What separates the “Win at Life” folks from the rest of the pack is their response to those obstacles. Frankly, I’m amazed by how many people are like the player in the story above – all too willing to pack it in and head home when things get tough.

When I was the clubhouse manager for the Travelers, we had a sign up in the locker room that put it like this: “Winners never quit. And quitters never win.”

To be successful in life, you have to learn how to overcome the natural tendency to give up when things don’t go your way. The Bible calls this quality “perseverance” — something we’re all encouraged to add to our faith. The Apostle Paul wrote “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And
hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.” (Romans 5:3-5)

Once you’ve identified your goals – those milestones of achievement that grow out of your purpose and passion – a “never back down” attitude becomes your best ally. Few things in life are as satisfying as overcoming the obstacles that pop up along the way. Learn to hang in there and hit the curve ball, and before you know it, you’ll be well on your way in your pursuit of the winning life you were created to enjoy.

As Man Thinks

Almost every motivational speaker and author – from Norman Vincent Peale to Anthony Robbins – has tackled the issue of your thought life. Their approach tends to fall along the lines of “if you can think it, you can achieve it.” While there is a certain measure of truth to that, I believe it falls short of accurately describing the perspective we should have as believers.
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For as long as I can remember, one of my favorite verses in the Bible has been this one, from Proverbs 23:7: “As (a man) thinks in his heart, so is he.” You see, you can’t separate the internal thoughts in your heart – those that define you to yourself – from your external reality. Or to say it another way, if you internalize a view of yourself as a victim of life’s circumstances, or a failure who will never amount to anything, or a person who never gets what they really want out of life (the relationship of your dreams, a job you actually enjoy, the friends you long for, whatever is most important to you) then any amount of thinking about something “different and better” is dead on arrival, killed off before it can even take root by the negativity within.

It’s not the externally focused thoughts – things we want or need – that we should concern ourselves with. It’s our hearts and the thoughts that live there – those core beliefs about ourselves that always, 100% of the time, lay the foundation for what our external circumstances will be like.

Think you’re not worthy? That you don’t deserve the solid friendships and loving relationships you see others enjoying? Then it should come as no surprise, really, when you find your life devoid of them.
Think you’re just unlucky, that you’re a living example of Murphy’s Law – if it can go wrong it will? Then don’t be shocked if that’s exactly what happens.

But the opposite is just as true. Think you’re someone deserving of respect and kind treatment by others, even perfect strangers? Then you’re likely to find that to be your external “circumstantial” reality.

I have a good friend whose life perfectly illustrates that. Whenever we’re together in a public place, it absolutely amazes me how people treat him. He has a gentle spirit, a calm assurance that whatever he needs to have happen will somehow make itself manifest. Time and again I’ve watched others pick up on that “heart thinking” of his and more often than not, he is provided with exactly what he needs in the moment.

There’s nothing secret or magical about it. It simply involves an honest examination of what’s going on in your heart. What’s the tape that’s playing in your head? Does it tell you that you’re a person of value, deserving of all the great things God wants to bring into your life? Or does it play a message – perhaps one left over from childhood – that says you’re not worthy of a good life, that you’re guilty and
condemned to live out an unhappy existence?

I don’t think I need to belabor the point that God’s view of you is one of total acceptance and unconditional love. The Apostle Paul said it best when he reminds us “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1) I think it would be safe to say (and also quite Biblical) that God views believers through the same lens with which He viewed Jesus: “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

Thinking about things you want to achieve in life – the externals – won’t do a bit of good until you learn to think correctly – and Biblically – about yourself. Perhaps it’s time to change out the tapes in your heart. Begin to see yourself as God sees you – His beloved child, worthy of all the good things He wants to bring into your life.

As I see it, it’s not just “thinking” you need, it’s “correct thinking” – at the heart level.
Change that, and you begin the process of changing everything.

This Ain’t Working

New York Yankees great Yogi Berra is often lauded for his accomplishments on the field, as both a player and a manager. But it’s what he’s accomplished off the field that impresses me the most.

You see, Berra has been married to his wife for more than 50 years. Perhaps it’s this quote that explains the secret to their successful marriage:

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I’m pretty sure Yogi didn’t intend to, but he actually hit on two important keys for a great relationship. You need to know how to have a good time together — in other words, how to have fun. And you need to know the other person is thinking about you, even when you’re apart from each other.

A solid, sustainable marriage doesn’t just “happen.” It takes effort. And, frankly, sometimes it takes a lot of effort.

When I counsel couples whose marriage isn’t working — for one or both of them — it’s usually because they’ve become bogged down in finger-pointing, holding on to past hurts, and the paralysis of inaction. For a relationship to thrive, each person has to be willing to:

• Accept their part in the problem. You’ve heard the old saying, but it’s true: There are always two sides to every story. Understanding what your spouse is feeling, and how your actions affect them, is the first step toward developing empathy and getting the relationship back on the right track.
• Admit the unresolved hurt. Life is full of nicks and cuts, little bruises that, if dealt with on a daily basis, are not that big a deal. But when we hold on to them, and nurse them, we only end up hurting ourselves. The best course of action is to get them all out on the table, deal with them, and then move on.
• Always be willing to do whatever it takes. The fastest route to a great marriage occurs when both people are willing to give their all — when both are willing to lay aside their tendency to ‘keep score,’ and instead focus on serving and meeting the needs of their partner.

When a couple is willing to put that kind of effort into the relationship, more often than not it will lead to a place of greater love, joy and companionship. In fact, you’ll likely find yourself enjoying common ground with Yogi Berra — having a good time together. Even when you’re not together.